Bill and Monica

1. Clinton is declaring a new National Bird?

The Spread Eagle.

2. What is Clinton's favorite toy?

An Erector Set.

3. What is Clinton's favorite card game?

Poker.

4. What is Clinton's worst nightmare?

An intern with braces.

5. How did they finally bust Clinton?

Monica finally coughed up the evidence.

6. What's Slick Willie's new nickname?

President-erect.

7. What is Pres. Clinton's pet name for Hilary?

"My little buttercup."

8. What is Pres. Clinton's pet name for Monica?

"My little suction cup."

9. Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky is now working for 7-11?

She's endorsing the "Big Gulp."

10. Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?

To promote off-shore drilling.

11. Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?

He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar

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12. Why does Clinton swim naked in the White House pool?

He is trolling for interns

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13. What is Clinton's new Secret Service Code Name?

Unibanger

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14. Why can't they prove anything in the Monica Lewinsky case?

Because she swallowed the evidence

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15. How did Bill reply regarding questions of "coaching" Monica's testimony?

"It wasn't words that I put in her mouth!"

16. What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton?

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Clinton doesn't know the difference.

17. What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?

They were both upset when Bill finished first

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18. What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wished he had?

A dead girlfriend and an ex-wife

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19. Have you heard about the new presidential limousine?

It's called the Pervertible... the top goes up and the intern goes down.

20. Why is Clinton's approval rating so high?

Because Monica was taking the pole.

21. What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?

"Sat on the Presidential Staff."

22. What is the difference between Monica Lewinsky and a Hoover vacuum?

Where the DirtBag attaches.

23. If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?

Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.

24. What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?

We know how many went down on the Titanic.

25. How could President Clinton deny he had sex with Monica Lewinsky?

Clinton claims it wasn't sex because, after all, she didn't swallow.

26. What's the most popular game at the White House?

Swallow the leader.